A Lie That Kept Her Alive
by HappyLittleWriter13
Summary: Hetty has kept a secret from Kensi for many years one that she thought would keep her safe. But when it all unravels, will it have all be worth it?
1. Chapter 1

**OSP DECEMBER 21 1997**

As Hetty watched the flames ignite against the limp and thin paper, she hoped that she had made the right decision. A decision that would affect not only her life but her future agents lives as well. But the effect could never be foreseen. The future was uncertain and Hetty only hoped that the past never caught up with her.

 **OSP DECEMBER 20 2002**

Kensi arrived OSP heading straight for the coffee machine in the bullpen. She was running late again this morning and hadn't had time to stop and get a coffee. Sam and Callen were in the shooting range and Deeks was in the bullpen finishing his mountain of paperwork he had allowed to build up. " Hey Kensi, late again? That's the third time this week and it's Thursday." Deeks stated. "Oh yeah, Was trying new route and traffic was a nightmare. Won't be taking that route any more." She laughed it off hoping that Deeks would just let it go and unexpectedly he did,with a quick quip of "everywhere in LA is like that." he went back to the stack of paperwork he had. She sat down with her coffee and set her desk for the day. Her laptop and phone on the desk and a couple of files that she was working on. She lent back and finished her coffee before opening a file and began reading. Deeks occasionally looked cross at her, but she didn't look up from the file.

An argument coming from the gym, broke the silence in the bullpen, Callen and Sam were arguing about some score that Callen had allegedly got when Sam was in hospital after getting shot. "Oh and how can you prove that? You didn't save the score sheet and i'm sure you did it alone, so no one can corroborate." Sam said defensively. Callen laughed "Of course but as you're partner you should trust and believe me." As they can in to the bull pen Sam saw Deeks and Kensi looking intrigued at the pair arguing but Sam decided to change the subject. "Late again Kensi?" Kensi looked at Sam wide eyed. She didn't think he would have noticed. "Umm Yeah. Traffic was a nightmare, there was an accident, sat there for ages." Deeks looked across at her. He couldn't put his finger on it but something wasn't right.

The day was slow and without any cases the day was filled with simple chatter and finishing paperwork that was no doubt overdue. Lunch came at last and it was take out Thursday so Kensi was just about to get ready to fetch lunch when Deeks piped up "I'll come with, give you a hand." Kensi didn't argue and Sam and Callen were all to glad to have a moment of quiet without him. They got in the car and headed to some trashy takeout place. Deeks knew that something was going on with Kensi and he was going to find out. "What's that file you were reading earlier, you looked really interested?" Kensi looked confused at first and the clocked on to what he was talking about. "Oh it's just a file from someone who worked in the bureau around the time of my fathers death, he said he had some new information that he wanted me to know." Kensi replied hoping Deeks wouldn't take it any further because she wasn't ready to tell anyone, not even Deeks. Deeks was bewildered as far as he knew it was a cold case and had been for years. He wanted to press it but he felt that he would only hurt Kensi if he asked anything more. She still had so many raw emotions about her fathers death, ones that instead of dealing with she hide from.

When they returned back, they handed out the food and they all began to eat. The magic of food caused a satisfying silence to fall over the bull pen. Once lunch was finished the team resumed paperwork and pointless arguments about who had the most accurate shot and who was the better sparring partner. It was around four when Hetty wandered over. "Ms Blye a word in my office if you will?" Kensi Got up and followed suit. The guys sat there shocked. "What has she done Deeks?" But Deeks didn't know and he wanted to know. Hetty sat down and invited Kensi to sit. As She sat Hetty began to explain why she wanted to talk to her. "Ms Blye I wanted to talk to you about some information you recently acquired. I know about the file and I would just like to know who you got it from. That's all." Kensi's gaze shifted from one wall of the office to the other. "Just someone who knew my father and felt like it was the right time to give it to me." Hetty's gaze narrowed on Kensi. "A name, Ms Blye?" Kensi had promised not to give him up. "He never gave one, just said that he felt it was right that I knew what he had found." Although Hetty didn't believe her, she knew that Kensi wasn't going to give in easily, she was strong willed. It was one of the things that made her such a good agent."You can return to your work." Hetty said and with that Kensi returned to her desk.

When she sat down and began reading her file again, the guys just stared at her. "What did she want?" Callen asked. Kensi looked up. Quickly coming up with an excuse she said "She was just seeing how my mother was and how we were doing. That's all." And with that she returned her attention to the file in front of her. As did Callen and Sam. But Deeks just stared at her, he knew that wasn't true, he wouldn't fold as easily as Callen or Sam. He would find out, eventually. He went back to his work but he was absent minded and hardly did anything, he was wrapped up in trying to figure out what was happening.

It was nearly five when Eric came sprinting down the stairs. "Guys we got a case." And he headed back to OPS. The team hauled themselves up the stairs, grumbling at how the criminals were doing something bad when they were just about to leave. When they got in to Ops Eric gave a quick break down of the case. It was a robbery gone wrong and a Navy personnel had been killed helping. Luckily there were some high quality surveillance cameras in the area, which had caught everything. As the surveillance camera rolled on the large screen in front of the team, Kensi saw a face she would never forget in the corner of the image. Her father. Her father and Granger. She felt pain in her chest and clouds blackened her vision. The team didn't notice until Kensi was falling. Luckily Deeks was next to her and caught her as she fell.


	2. Chapter 2

"Kensi, are you alright?" She looked around. "Umm. Yeah, I think so." Kensi muttered, not being utterly sure herself. Deeks helped her to her feet, Eric pulled a chair across. Kensi sat down. "What happened?" Nell asked concerned for her friend. "Uh, I wasn't feeling great this morning, it must have come back. I'll be alright in a minute." Kensi replied. She did look pale and ill but anyone would if h had seen someone who they thought had end dead for 18 years. Her father had been her idol, her rock and when she 'lost' him, something inside her broke and had never been right since. Eric finished the briefing and the team went down to the bullpen. The robber had been caught on camera and Eric and Nell had already sent the address to Sam and Callen's phones. The plan was to flush him out but Kensi wanted to talk to Hetty without the glaring eyes and questions after. The guys went on ahead and Kensi stayed behind claiming she didn't feel great.

Kensi made her way or to Hetty's office. She sat quiet, sipping at a tea cup. "Hetty, can I have a word? It's important." Kensi asked as she walked in to the office area. Hetty nodded placing down her cup on to the matching saucer. "What is it my dear?" Kensi wanted to ask if what she saw was true. "Hetty, this case, the robbery gone wrong, well when Eric was playing the security video I could have sworn I saw a face I knew. My father, with Granger of all people." Kensi told Hetty. " But your father died in a car accident at the hands of Claremont. Who you caught." Hetty responded. Kensi knew what Hetty was trying to say, but she was sure that even after 18 years she knew what she had seen. She sat quiet for a few moments before explaining "Hetty, the file you asked about earlier, well Granger gave it to me. It was about the accident, in detail. The crash, the vehicle fire, everything. But do you think it is possible that Granger gave it me to stop me looking in to his death? I mean it would make sense." Kensi was getting worked up. Hetty could see that Kensi was getting close to breaking point. "Ms Blye, why don't you head home, it is clear that your fainting spell earlier has messed with your head and I cannot allow you to work in this state of mind. I would say that depending on how you feel tomorrow, will depend on whether you come in or not." Kensi was shocked. "What! You're sending me home?" "Yes Ms Blye, please collect your things and go home. It is clear you are not well enough to continue with today's work load." Kensi was about to argue when Hetty interrupted. "That's all." And with that Hetty picked up her cup and returned to her silence. Kensi got up and walked over to her desk, to collect her things. With her things packed in her messenger bag she headed to the parking garage.

Just as she was leaving the building, Deeks, Callen and Sam were returning after handing over the suspect to LAPD. "Kensi?" Deeks asked as she passed them. "Where are you going?" "Home" she retorted. "Why?" Callen enquired. " Ask Hetty!" She spat, before turning on her heel and heading out of the building. Callen, Deeks and Sam shared a look before heading over to Hetty's desk. "What can I do for you?" Hetty asked as the guys spread around her desk. "What's with Kensi?" Deeks asked,he knew that Kensi wouldn't have said what she did if she didn't have a reason. Kensi would challenge Granger but not Hetty. "Mr Deeks, Mr Hanna, Mr Callen it would appear that Ms Blye is not well enough to be in today, so I have sent her home. Is that all?" With that the gentlemen headed to the bullpen to do incident reports and any final paperwork from the days case. As Callen, Deeks and Sam sat at their desks, Deeks pulled out his phone and text Kensi.

 _Hey, you ok?_

 ** _Yeah, I suppose._**

 _Why'd Hetty send you home?_

 ** _Ask her._**

 _We did she wouldn't say_

 ** _Come over tonight. I'll tell you._**

 _Ok see you tonight. Yummy, Yummy Heart Attack?_

 ** _And Rocky road. I have the beers :)_**

 _Rocky road too :)_

And with that Deeks went to work on the paperwork that was mounting in front of him. He decided that he would get it done so his full focus could be on Kensi later and not work or the fact that if he didn't get the work done Hetty would be very angry with him as well as Kensi. The day went quite quickly and Deeks finished his mountainous work load before the day was up, so he had hit the gym. As he was exiting the showers to head over to Kensi's, Callen and Sam stopped him in the doorway. "Off to Kensi's?" Sam asked. Deeks nodded. "Keep an eye on her Deeks" Callen said before the two went into the gym, allowing Deeks to leave. He stood there for a couple of seconds before heading to the bullpen to grab his stuff so he could leave. He looked over at Kensi's desk, remembering that he had to pick up some Yummy yummy heart attack and a couple of tubs of rocky road before heading over to Kensi's place.


	3. Chapter 3

Deeks arrived shortly after picking up the take out. He knocked on the door and a few seconds later Kensi appeared. "Hey." Deeks said, "Hey." Kensi replied, moving out the way of the door to allow him in. He walked in and headed straight for the kitchen to put the ice cream into the freezer before it melted. He joined Kensi on the couch and they opened their takeout. "So, what's going on?" Deeks asked as he stabbed a piece of chicken. Kensi looked uneasy, hesitantly she began "This is gonna sound crazy but I think that my fathers alive." Deeks looked up from his dinner. "What do you mean you think your father is still alive. You said he died in a car accident that was caused by Peter Clairemont, who we caught." Kensi looked into his eyes. He could see that she was hurt and confused and happy and angry and crazed and everything in between. Deeks could see that Kensi had been looking through old photo albums. Pictures of her and her parents were scattered across the room. Ones of her and her father, others of just her father. "Where's this coming from?" Deeks asked. Kensi looked between the albums, her takeout, and Deeks before answering. "Well, when we watched the surveillance earlier before I fainted, I noticed two faces. One was Granger's and the other was my father's. I'm sure it was my father." Kensi explained. "I asked Hetty and she blew me off. She sent me home. She has to know something otherwise she wouldn't have sent me home." Deeks looked at her. "Maybe she had good reason to," he said going back to his drunken pigs. Kensi looked up from her takeout. "Maybe she had good reason to?" She repeated. "Deeks, this my father we are talking about. If he didn't die in that car crash, then he just walked out of my life, and everything I ever thought about him goes out the window. He was my idol. How do you leave your family, your daughter?" Deeks placed his empty takeout container on the table in front of him and placed his hand on Kensi's shoulder. "We don't even know if it was him yet. Let's not jump to conclusions before we have the proven facts." Deeks said pulling her into his side. Kensi began to cry into his shoulder.

The sun was bright as it shone through the blinds in Kensi's apartment the next morning. The two were still tangled up in each other. Deeks woke first. "My arm is sore." he thought to himself with a chuckle. Kensi stirred and blinked up at Deeks. "Hi," Deeks said to her. "Hi" she replied. She cleared her throat and sat up, allowing Deeks to move his arm that had been trapped beneath her all night. She rubbed her eyes and stood up, clearing up the trash from the night before. He stood and followed her to the kitchen where she threw the take out containers. Deeds could sense that there was still tension between them. "I'm sorry about what I said last night." He said as he rounded the doorway to the kitchen. "But you shouldn't rush into this blind, the police did their investigation and identified the body. Maybe you just thought you saw him or you saw someone who looked similar, it wasn't a great quality CCTV camera." He said. She turned from the sink to face home. "Deeks, I know what my father looks like, even after all this time. And who's to say that back then the evidence was wrong or that this is some sort of cover-up and he's been alive all these years." Deems knew that this would send her into a downwards spiral like it had when he 'died' and she ended up on the streets. "Deeks, I have to do this, I have to find out what is going on here." She stated. "But what if you do and there's nothing going on. What are you going to do then?" Kensi was shocked. Of all the people she thought would believe her, it was him.

Deeks was about to speak when his phone buzzed. "I have to head in. We caught a lead." Kensi turned to look out the window. "Go. I'll be fine." He kissed her on the forehead, before grabbing his keys and jacket and heading into the OSP. Kensi sat back on the couch, when a photograph from an album she had been looking at the night before, caught her eye. It was of her and her father outside of a cafe on the same street were the marine had been killed a couple of days prior. She began to wonder if he had been picked up on any other traffic cameras. Kensi decided she needed to be sure. Like Deeks said, she shouldn't jump to conclusions, she had to get proof. One photo wouldn't be enough. She picked up her phone and dialled up Nell.

 _"Hey Nell"  
_

 **"Hey Kens, how are you feeling?"**

 _"I'm feeling better. Can you meet for a coffee?"_

 **"Yeah, sure. Where at?"**

 _"Joan's on Third."_

 **"Sure, be there in an hour."**

 _"Cool, see you then."_

Kensi ended the call and put her phone on the counter. She picked up the photo albums from the coffee table, placed them back in their box and placed them back in her bedroom on top of her cupboard. She grabbed the towel from the floor and headed off into the bathroom for a shower. She switched the water on and climbed in. As the water ran across her shoulders and back and as it did she could feel herself becoming emotional. What if he was alive? Did he even want to see her again, after all this time? Did she even want to see him? She had come to terms with his death and, yes, it still hurt to think about the day she found out about his death. She still felt the same pain every time she thought about it but she had figured out how to deal with it. But now, now she had no idea how to feel.

She cleaned herself up and turned off the shower. Kensi stepped out and wrapped the towel around herself. She stepped into the bedroom and grabbed some clothes from the drawer and threw them on. She pulled up her hair, grabbed her keys and got in her car to meet Nell.

Kensi pulled up at the cafe and waited inside by the window. From here she could see everything and everyone passing her by. She could see a little girl on her father's shoulders. She was laughing and smiling. She wished she could have had more of them moments with her father when she was that age. They never really had that time because he was always deployed or they were moving around. IT was always hard for her to settle in one place.

Kensi was in her own world and had not even notice Nell sit down in front of her with her latte. "Hey Kens, is everything alright?" Nell asked, taking a sip of her coffee. Kensi nodded at her friend. "Nell, I have a favour to ask, but you can't tell anyone. Especially Deeks." Nell looked at her curiously and allowed her to continue. "I need you to check the cameras around the crime scene from the robbery the other day for Granger and..."Kensi looked down at her hands as she picked at her fingernails. "Who?" Nell prompted. "My father. I am almost certain I saw him on that footage the other day but I need to be sure. Can you do that for me? Please?" Nell agreed to help Kensi. She wanted to bring her friend some peace of mind.


End file.
